Golf’s Least Favorite Things

I would like to thank Patty Albers for submitting this poem about Golf’s Least Favorite Things, and for the musically inclined:

Could be sung to “My Favorite Things” from the “Sound of Music”angry

Raindrops on tee shots and lightening when putting

Opponents chipping in and their irritating strutting

One in the group likes to hum and he sings

These are a few of my least favorite things

I didn’t have a clear shot, and that’s why I’m crying

My ball’s in a divot, why wouldn’t I be sighing?

While in my backswing, my partner’s phone rings

These are a few of my least favorite things

Sweat dripping down from my brow and eye lashes

It’s hard to get comfortable with those summer skin rashes

A bee up my shorts and I kept feeling its stings

These are a few of my least favorite things

 

My grip didn’t feel right, my glove is too wet

On this hole surely I did not win the bet

My ball went straight up like it really had wings

These are a few of my least favorite things

 

I didn’t follow through, my ball didn’t go far

Didn’t keep my head down, not getting a par

The dry fit shirt I’m wearing is damp and it clings

These are a few of my least favorite things

 

When the ball slices, when the ball hooks

When I miss the putt

I try to remember how the proper stance looks

And hope to get out of this rut

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